Tulsa has vampires!!!

Hannah and Louisa before an Oiler's game!!

After much daughter drama and finally buying Netflix only to watch more buffering than movie, I didn't get around to even trying to go to bed last night until 12:30.  Before reaching the bedroom, Hannah charged up the stairs, proclaiming her friend Louisa had run out of gas and she was going to rescue her.  When she invited me to tag along, I figured why not?  I'm always up for an adventure.

Louisa was stuck across the street from Whataburger near Cherry Street and Lewis.  Since we're way further south than that, I just took Lewis all the way up.  So there's hardly any traffic and lights are green and I'm thinking we're the only people crazy enough to be out this late, right?  WRONG!!! 

We hit Brookside to encounter five cop cars with flashing lights and sidewalks filled with packs of twenty-somethings in tight black dresses and heels high enough to be weapons!!!  For three blocks, people were everywhere--dancing on balconies and on the side of the street.  I had no idea all of this was going on so late.  Were these folks vampires??? 

While I got all excited, looking for drunk people and/or hookers, Hannah rolled her eyes, explaining its always like this--a fact I would know if I stayed up past ten!!  A few blocks later, we once again owned the road.  We found Louisa and put gas in her hot little BMW convertible.  (Yes, I'm jealous!!  LOL!!) 

Hannah declared Louisa more fun than me and I drove home alone, still wondering how so many people willingly stayed up so late??!!  And in spiky heels??!!!  Maybe I've watched too many episodes of True Blood?  Maybe my eyes don't work like they used to?  Either way, I know some of those partiers had fangs!!!  



I found other fat people!!!

                                                  

Me on a Death March in St. Thomas.  I puked twenty minutes later!!!!

Those of you who know me understand I'm somewhat gifted in pounds, but also in love!!  LOL!!  In my never-ending search for new weight loss methods, I'm now walking at a 15 degree incline on the treadmill, but for only thirty minutes--I used to force myself for an hour, but it hurt and I quit.  I really like this thirty minute thing, and while I've only been doing it for a little over a week, I do feel better.

That said, my biggest problem at the gym is the other people.  I typically go to Gold's in the afternoon.  On any given day, there will be at least a hundred half-naked Gods and Goddesses strutting their stuff, looking more like they're at the gym to see and be seen than work out.  I'm the token fat, old chick and it's getting on my nerves--which should make me eat less so I can emulate all of them.  But all it really does is make me want to drown my misery in the ooey, gooey warmth of a Big Mac!!!!  (I have, however, valiantly resisted this urge, thank you very much.)

Anyway, I find the presence of so damned many freakishly perfect bodies a tad depressing.  So this morning, when kid-car-usage forced me into going to the gym early, you will understand my glee at finding others of my kind!!!  They were fluffy and had grey hairs and even wore sweats instead of the latest in skin-sucking, neon Lycra!!!!!  From henceforth, I will be going to gym early, because for once, instead of feeling like the perpetual ugly duckling, I walked and sweated amongst swans!!!

I'm Stuck in Hitchcock's The Birds!!!

Cocoa has volunteered to date the bird!!  Or maybe eat him. 

A lady reserves the right to change her mind!!

I'm basically a nature-loving girl, but if the bird pecking our living room window doesn't knock it off, he may find himself knocked out!!!!  I'm guessing he's trying to "date" our deck door.  His song is lovely, but then he scrapes his beak against the glass, sending the dogs into a yipping, yapping frenzy!!!  This has been going on for three days.  I've shut the blinds, but every time the bird pecks, the dogs yap.  Combine this with my already bluh mood and I've written one, whole paragraph of my new synopsis!!  Maybe I should take my laptop out to the car?

In other news, Hannah is now a nanny!!  Her charge is a four-year-old Turkish boy whom she describes as being adorably spoiled.  Yesterday, he dribbled cereal and milk on the iPad he was playing with that was housed in a Louis Vuitton cover.  Wonder if this family would adopt me?  I'm a very neat cereal eater.  Just sayin'.

Mayhem or Magic . . . You be the Judge

At the start of yesterday, it seemed magic was afoot in Casa Altom.  By the end of the day, I was just plain ol' ready for bed.

By 6:30AM, I was already hard at work.  Had a synopsis to write, farm to harvest and a frontier needing to be tamed.  I needed a cookie for sustenance, but alas, there were none.  In the midst of all of this heavy labor, Mother Nature was putting on quite a show.  Thunder and lightning and rain pounding the skylights so hard I couldn't hear my sheep baa!! 

Last Saturday, we had a neighborhood yard sale, during which, I went haywire, snatching up as much junk as I could from every corner of the house.  (Stay with me, this is all going to tie together soon!!  LOL!!)  Eyeing the scum-filled tank of death--otherwise known as the $1000 fish tank all kiddos promised to help clean--I knew this was my time.  Most of the fish had long since been cannibalized or sucked up the seafood-loving filter.  Three, hearty souls remained.  To them, I promised a new, scum free world. To my eldest bundle of joy, I said, "Get that thing and all the crap that goes with it out here to the garage STAT!!!  I want it out of my house!!!"  He complied.  Although, wondered what to do with the surviving fish.  I told him--or maybe screeched, it was 42 and blustery in May--to just stick the fish in a bucket.  I'd deal with them later.  As an aside, the fish tank still sits in the garage.  As of yesterday, the three fish still sat in a pitcher on the bar.

Back to the thunderstorm . . . Our ancient mutt, Sweet Pea, was shivering from the thunder and a lightning flash revealed the last surviving fish.  Holy Crap!!!  In my joy over never having to see that filthy tank again--unless, in the unlikely event I looked in the garage--I'd forgotten those few remaining souls. 

Rain hammering our home, I jumped from my big, green chair and set out on a mission to save the fish.  I found I'd already had one more casualty, but two more remained!!  They must be saved!!  In particular, the neon pink tetra who somehow escaped the cannibalism and outlasted his brethren for at least two years.  Can I get an Amen?!  Since we still had the old itty bitty tank, I washed it out--lightning cracking so hard I wondered if I'd get struck as punishment for all the fish death.

After a successful transfer of the last black molly, I went for the sainted tetra.  He wasn't having it.  This little guy is like the Navy SEAL of fish.  Finally, I resorted to dumping out all but a mud puddle of water at the bottom of the pitcher.  My plan was to then scoop him up.  Um, that's when something went horribly wrong. He leaped from my hands and jumped right down the GARBAGE DISPOSAL!!!!!  Pretty sure I actually screamed!!!  Lightning still flashing, I went into Wonder Woman mode, sticking my arm down that disposal, pulling out pasta and potato chunks and some mystery stuff that scared me plenty bad.  Finally, I found the fish, tossed him in the tank and can you believe it, he lived!!!!!

The clouds parted, the sun came out and angels sang--then it rained again, but anyway a happy ending!!!  It is now my mission to keep this little guy happy and out of the disposal for many years to come!!

In other news, I dragged my big butt out of my big green chair to go to the gym.  My reward??  Oilers player, Derek Eastman, a regular visitor in front of my glass side seats, happened to be lifting weights.  Whew.  And I thought he looked good in his hockey suit.  Ducking behind our resident Ice Girl, Hannah, I whisper-squealed, "OHMYGOSHISTHATDEREKEASTMAN?" She rolled her eyes and confirmed my suspicions.  Alas, the couple times I've talked to handsome, talented Derek, he wasn't especially loving the fan attention.  And contrary to what you probably believe, I've never ambushed him, but only approached him at bona fide fan functions where he was being paid to be nice to me!!!  Whatever.  As you can tell by the two hunks in my profile pic, I've moved on!!  LOL!!!

Next on my agenda, helped our oldest kiddo, Russell, move into an apartment at TU and I'm actually a tad jealous.  It smells heavenly with not a trace of cat or dog and drum roll, please . . .  Directly across from his place some seriously yummy, giant football players were moving in.  If only I were back in school at my fun & flirty weight!!!

In today's news, Happy 23rd Anniversary Sweet Hubby!!! Out of all of my boyfriends, I love YOU best!!!!!

 

      

    

Ouch!!

My head used to be so happy back before the great thaw!!!


Dear Spring, PUH-LEEEEEZE stop hurting my head!!!  Thanks--Laura Marie :-)

Now that that's out of the way, my head REALLY hurts!!  Everyone here in Tulsa is complaining that this is the worst allergy season we've ever had.  I concur.  If it's not crazy pressure, it's dripping and coughing and sneezing.  Almost makes me ready for winter!!

It's been a busy day.  Had some fun news that I can't share just yet, but hopefully, will be able to soon.  Got a little more updating done on my website.  Picked my May book winner--yay, Ruth Vick!!!  Worked on a synopsis for the proposals I'm feverishly trying to get out.  Ran out to get printer paper only to arrive home to discover we're out of ink!!  Even managed to get to the gym.  I also managed to cram five cookies into my mouth for lunch. 

Lots of kid drama.  Bickering amongst the kids.  Me, yelling at the kids, etc.  Can't believe I'm saying this only a few days into summer, but now that they're in college is it too late for sleepaway camp?  LOL!!  I love my children, I love my children.  If I chant it enough, maybe everything will calm down and we'll once again have clean towels??!!  Seriously, my kids mean the world to me, but it's frustrating to buy a case of Sprite intended to last me a week only to have it vanish in a couple hours!!  Oh--we also lost five frozen pizzas in the same periodl!!  

Can I get an Amen for tomorrow being Friday?



   

Enough already!!!

Goose babies at the park near our house! Crazy cute!!

All right, Blog Nags (You know who you are!!), I'm back and you'll probably end up being sorry!! LOL!!

Just finished edits on Book #4 of my Buckhorn Ranch series!! YAY!!!! Not sure why, but at one point, I was pretty sure this book might be the death of me. (I know, I say that about every book!!) But this one was seriously hard. Making matters worse was a harsh review on my last book that broke my heart. The grown-up in me knows to take reviews with a grain of salt and move on, but honestly, I think this was the kick in the britches I needed to get back in the habit of sending advance copies to lots of reviewers--at least then I'll have a fifty/fifty shot of finding love!! LOL!!

For once, I'm thrilled with who won Survivor!! Rob has never been a fave of mine, but this season, he showed a lot more heart. I felt for him in having tried to achieve a goal for so long and always just missing. (Case in point, my RITA scores!!) For me, there's always next year to try, but for Rob, I'm guessing this was a last shot situation.

Today, I'm alternately working on updating my website and getting new proposals to my Harlequin American editor. I've gotten a general "go ahead" on a new series idea, and am now in the uncomfortable position of writing up three storylines. LOVE brainstorming. Loathe cramming ideas into a neat and tidy salable package.

With the annual RWA conference looming, I'm worrying about weight, but so far that's the extent of my efforts. :-(

Lots more rambling to come, but for today, I'm back to wrestling with html!!!!