Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Time Sucking Broken Eyeballs!!

Since The SEAL's Surprise Baby is due the 15th, I thought it might be fun to look at all the ways fate has messed with me during the crucial last days before I finally type, The End.  In speaking with my author friend, Winnie Griggs, she also claims calamity strikes most when deadlines loom.  While I don't have time for an in-depth study of every author in the world, I thought it might be interesting to at least look back over the ridiculous amounts of things that've happened to me lately to keep me from writing:

Tuesday 11/6--Election day!!  Hubby and I decide to vote first thing in the morning to avoid long lines.  Wait 30 minutes at our usual polling place, whip out IDs, told our polling place is now no longer located at the nice, peaceful church it has been for 10 years, but Food Pyramid.  We head that way only to discover a 40 minute line snaking through the freezer section!!  Prime early morning writing time shot--albeit for a good cause.

Hubby in voting line!!  Yes--that IS a grocery freezer section behind him!!
After a brief Y & R break, I get back to work.  Son pops in for a visit.  I ask if he's voted.  He has not.  Off we go to his polling place.  2 hour line!!   Daughter brags she had no wait at all!!

Day's Page Count--4 out of my goal of 10
Wednesday 11/7--Fairly productive day save for Lowe's and the plumber and the counter guy calling at least three times each.  Get mail.  Daisy, our demon Yorkie, decides to run away.  I'm forced to walk the street barefoot, wagging a tempting slice of "cheezy cheese" to lure her home.  She warily takes cheese, but before I can grab her, bolts.  Can you say bad dog?!?! 

Day's Page Count--7 out of my goal of 10

Thursday 11/8--Plumber here forever.  They leave, I nuke soup.  UPS man arrives.  Dog eats soup.  Attempt to start writing, but counter guys show up.  I bought the wrong faucet for new sink.  Emergency run to Lowe's.  Back at home, lungs BURNING from counter glue fumes.  Added bonus?  Son and super-sweet girlfriend I REALLY like are breaking up--AT OUR HOUSE!!!  By the time Hubby gets home, we escape for dinner.  Fumes no better when we're done.

Day's Page Count--0 out of my goal of 10

Friday 11/9--Get comfy on the couch to begin what will surely be a great writing day, stretch backwards and knock my freshly opened Sprite over my head.  My hair, face, and sofa are now dripping with sticky Sprite.  By the time me and the sofa are clean, plumbers arrive to connect new sink.  They notice book covers on the wall and request signed copies.  By the time I'm writing anything other than my name and a check for extra parts, a huge chunk of my writing day is gone.

Day's Page Count--11 out of my goal of 20 

Saturday 11/10--I don't work weekends.  Hubby's off at his day job during the week, so I look forward to spending Saturday and Sunday with him and/or our kids.  That said, with my deadline perilously close, I HAVE to work this weekend.  Too bad the "simple" errands we need to run last a huge chunk of the day.

Day's Page Count--14 out of my goal of 20 

Sunday 11/11--Surprisingly calm day, but we have an Oilers game at 4:00.  We like to get to games an hour early to eat Billy's onion rings and watch the players warm-up.  That means getting to the BOK Center by 3:05.  That means my in-desperate-need-of-cutting hair needs to be tamed starting by 1:30.  Lots of writing time shot like a puck!!

Day's Page Count--16 out of my goal of 20

Monday 11/12--If you've been keeping track, you'll notice I just now made up my page count for the whole day I missed last Thursday.  Had those been the only days I missed, I wouldn't now be feverishly making up for those other bizarre days my page count was 0.

With my deadline being Thursday, I'm now in fevered-writing mode.  Got six great pages done when daughter calls.  After the free skate at Sunday's game, boyfriend accidentally elbowed her right eye.  She reports it's swollen, hurting and her vision's blurry.  Whaaaaat?!?!  All writing stopped to run her to the eye doctor.  

Day's Page Count--19 out of my goal of 20

Tuesday 11/13--Sit down to write and Hubby's lost his shoes and belt.  Since I'm in deadline mode, house is a MESS.  I help look.  Hubby leaves, I'm back to writing.  Thirty minutes in, Hubby calls.  Have I seen his work phone?  Stop writing to look.  Text Hubby--Found it!  Start writing, Hubby texts if he missed calls?  I don't know!!  And I'm not getting up to look!!  Day progresses in much the same fashion from here.  Lowe's lady calls.  Am I happy with our counters?  Slimy telemarketer tries selling me vitamins.  Daughter calls--her poor eyeball still hurts.  Her boyfriend's elbow owes me a $40 specialist copay and lost writing time!!! LOL!!!

Daughter and super cute Boyfriend's elbow before elbowing incident!!

Day's Page Count--23 out of my goal of 20

Wednesday 11/14--Overall, despite a gazillion interruptions, I've managed to get work done, but not nearly enough.  Today, I'm still writing feverishly, trying to make up for all the other little things that somehow crop up when a book's due.

Cross your fingers!!  This one's going to be a squeaker!!

How about you?  Do you find that the more you have to do, the more gremlins appear to divert your attention?

Saturday, November 03, 2012

Attack of the Not-so-Killer Raccoon!!

Every Saturday morning, Hubby and I head out for breakfast.  I'd just put on my shoes and somewhat tamed my hair when he walked down my office stairs, shaking his head.  "Sorry.  Looks like we'll have to postpone I-Hop."

We've had so many calamities lately, my mind jumped from one of the kids or pets being hurt to the car not starting to something catastrophic having happened to the house.  Instead, Hubby had good news!!

Let me back up a little by explaining that a few weeks back, our neighborhood committee declared war on the lovely nature reserve across the street from our house.  They cut and chopped and cleared, driving all the critters from their homes and straight into ours.  When Cocoa, our wiener dog, refused to leave my office stairs, then started digging the floor, we called Critter Guy.

The hole in the side of our house!!
Critter Guy performed a 15 minute inspection, announced our home was in dire trouble and said for the low, low price of $9000--yes, that's three zeros after the 9--he would repair the coon damage, but if we wanted to actually catch the coon, that would run an extra $450/week until the critter could be trapped.  I cried and went to bed.  Hubby got mad.

Critter Guy said insurance pays for this sort of thing, so Angela, the nice insurance lady, came right over to check it out.  She said no way was there anywhere near that amount of damage, and regardless, Farmer's wasn't paying.  We had a contractor here working on another issue, and he advised we try trapping the coon ourselves, then he'd give us a quote on fixing the hole.  Sounds like a plan, right?

We headed to Atwood's for a live trap.  REALLY fun store I highly recommend!!  They have candy, bling belts, and baby chicks and ducks!!!!!!  I could live at Atwood's!!!!  But I digress . . .

Fuzzy chicks at Atwood's!!

Back to trapping, here's how it played out:

Attempt One--Peanut butter and dog food.  Untouched.

Attempt Two--Canned tuna.  Raccoon reached right in, had a nice meal, then skedaddled!!   

Attempt Three--Fancy kitty food.  Wild caught Alaskan salmon with wild rice.  Yahtzee!!  Turns out we have a gourmet!!

Those eyes!!!  He says, "Please let me back inside!  I promise to behave!"
Considering how much time, money and stress this guy has cost, I wanted to be mad at him, but he was so cute, once we drove out to a pretty wildlife area, I was a little misty to let him go.  When Hubby first opened the cage, the coon just stared at me for a few seconds--pretty sure by this time we'd bonded.  I wanted to pet him, but Hubby said, "NO."   

Moments later, the raccoon darted from the cage and that was that.

The blur is the coon running away!!
Daughter saw the pictures and worried what if he has a family?  I assured her we will set the trap again--just in case.  If there are more, we'll let them loose in the same place.  Hubby and I hope our coon was a bachelor stud, and is now speed dating at his new home all the way across the Arkansas River!!

Our coon's new home!!