Sunday, April 14, 2013

Attack of the Plumber's Crack!!

It's been quite a week at Casa Altom, but then when is it not?! LOL! Out of dozens of minor annoyances, my "favorite" had to be the plumber.

We've lived in our home for eight years--I think.  Math's kinda tricky this early!  Anyway, during those eight years this is only the second time our kitchen sink has been clogged.  The first time, Hubby fixed the sink, but the plumbing snake knocked a hole in another pipe, which then exploded.  Not a good day!

This time around, sweet Hubby and Son valiantly plunged and Mr. Plumber'd, as did Daughter and I, but no way was that sink clearing.  As luck would have it, the dishwasher was full, as was the sink.  We'd just been to the store, so the counters were cluttered with dirty dishes, plus sacks of vegis needing to be washed for our fun new diet.  Time to call in an expert.

Said expert was supposed to have arrived in the morning.  By mid-afternoon, he finally showed.  And by showed, I mean displayed a bountiful buffet of plumber's crack!!!!!  After getting him a pan to scoop water, then towels, then locking up Cocoa and Daisy--he didn't like them looking at him--he next needed to use our bathroom, then finally fixed the clog.

Cocoa--Plumber Attack Dog #1
Daisy--Plumber Attack Dog #2
I got out the checkbook, thrilled I was on the verge of finally getting my house back!  At this point, I'd've paid double just to get the guy GONE!  But noooo, he stayed an extra ten minutes to give me a lecture.  Here's how it went:

Plumber:  Ma'am, I'm assuming you had someone else doing dishes for you lately?

Me:  Um, no . . .

Plumber:  So then, it was you . . .

Me:  I guess?

Plumber:  Well, ma'am, I was pretty sure you wouldn't make this kind of error . . .

Me:  Okay?  (Did he find a kitten down the drain?!)   

Plumber:  Ma'am . . . (He hitches up his pants.) I'm sorry to tell you, but you can't be putting all that rice and onion down your drain--or anything.

Me:  I thought I was supposed to put stuff like that down the disposal?

Plumber:  No, ma'am.

Me:  Okay?

Plumber:  And, ma'am, I'm supposed to charge you double for having used Mr. Plumber, but I'm not gonna do that, 'cause you seem real nice.

Me:  Um, thank you?

Plumber:  Just don't do it again, ma'am.  You're gonna melt your pipes right out of your house.

Me.  Okay.  Good to know.  (Now, give me the >*&^%$ bill and get the *&^%$%# out of my house)

When I finally handed him his check, I couldn't help thinking that was the best money we ever spent, because If I'd had to spend two more seconds with the guy, it wouldn't have been pretty . . .

At least in my rich fantasy life!  In the real world, at times, I'm far too polite--but working hard to change this habit when necessary!  LOL!!

Got any "fun" plumbing stories to share?


Levi Eslinger said...

I'm very thankful for your amusing plumbing blog story. Thank you for making my day wonderful! This is actually funny, but it’s informative as well. You know what? It's actually true that onion and rice can clog the drain pipes.

Laura Marie Altom said...

Levi--Since this incident, I've been MUCH more careful about what I put in the sink!! ;-)

Elia Lester said...

Cocoa and Daisy are really cute! I guess your plumber isn’t much of a dog-lover. Anyway, it’s kind of nice of him not to charge you double. And at least now you know that you shouldn’t shoot your food remnants down the disposal.

Elia Lester

Laura Marie Altom said...

Thanks, Elia! Cocoa and Daisy are my fave companions! I was VERY releived the plumber didn't charge double. The bill was high enough as is! And yes, I've been extra careful with scraps every since . . . :-)